Moving On In

See what I did there…moving on out…moving on in…I’m hilarious.

I’m horrible at moving. And not in like the way people who just like don’t like packing are bad at moving, I’m really bad at moving. I don’t think I ever fully moved into a single room I lived in in college. I would always just give up and decide there was some stuff I could deal with keeping in the boxes for the entire year.

But now that I have a real place in New York, I want to actually move in like a real adult. No more living out of boxes. But because my parents were occupied parenting their other child, I had to figure out how to move all of my stuff across Manhattan alone.

I did it all wrong. First of all, I had absolutely zero budget for movers. I decided I could just move everything myself by taking a couple Ubers across the city and caring everything up the 5 floor walk up myself. After about 7 Uber rides later, and only half of my stuff moved, I immediately regretted my decision. Though in the end, because Uber drivers are awesome (don’t tell yellow cab drivers I said that), I had one amazing Uber driver that not only drove me back and forth from my new apartment to my old apartment twice, but he even helped me carry it all up the 5 flights of stairs.

But so we don’t give any Uber drivers a heart attack, I would suggest hiring an inexpensive moving company or bribing your friends with alcohol. Of course after telling my boss the horrible story of moving all of my stuff in Ubers, she tells me about Man with a Van. It’s a really affordable moving company in New York City and trust me you will not regret spending the extra money to have someone help you carry everything.

But the moving wasn’t over yet, because I didn’t own any furniture. I purchases an entire apartments worth of furniture from IKEA (owned and operated by my worst nightmare). And because I have about as much luck as a right-side-up horseshoe, and IKEA being the worst company ever (solely the Brooklyn store), I got to camp on an air mattress in my room for a few days while they made the long trek from the depths of Brooklyn to deliver my furniture. The best part is after paying hundreds of dollars for my furniture to be assembled, they just dropped it off and left.

In a couple of hours I had to put together my bed so I had a place to sleep. At first I was panicking and took a day off of work to try and figure out how to build the rest of my furniture before I had 4 people staying in my tiny apartment for the weekend. Turns out I can read directions about as well as I listen to them and I could not build the rest of the furniture. Luckily, I have the greatest friends in the world and while they came to visit they helped me build it all. (No thanks to IKEA…literally…NONE)

So let’s recap! Tips for moving in New York City:

#1 Never Move

#2 Hire movers

#3 Never shop at IKEA

#4 Never Move

And of course, pictures:

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my humble abode
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the infamous jail cell
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Lara (literally an angel sent from above who built and put together my room) and Me in my kitchen (I look creepy)
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prison aka webster apartments
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my block
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rooftop view from my new apartment


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